Proud

if i would have known that I was going to be happily married at 19 to the man of my dreams.
If I could have seen their intent and the fire in my heart sooner.
I would have walked away sooner, from the sandman and from fear.

But i'm still proud.
Proud I showed 300 people its okay to admit you're wrong. its okay to stumble but you need to be brave. Don't be afraid. he's not in the crowd any who and you'll have your chance. Iw ould have told myself to speak up, sooner.

Proud I had to courage to put on a beautiful dress and leave an outwardly beautiful, inside a cowardly boy. Proud I spoke my mind and stood.

And Im sorry too.
tears shed over people who don't matter now.
friendships traded for new fleeting... nothing.

If i could go back I would have been braver. I would have played more card games with my Dad and stayed in the woods a little longer. I would let my heart fall and learn. I wouldn't have locked it up. and maybe it wouldn't have mattered if I didn't lock it up. He's the only one who didn't seam to notice the bars around her. after their first kiss, neither did she. Neither  do I.

I'm still proud because I stood.
I spoke up. I went left when everyone else went right, ran a little faster than most but I'm happy and thats what counts. I'm free and I love my life.
I'm proud because despite the flames, tears and clouded fear, I made it.

I'm a wife, a sister, a daughter, and hopefully soon, a Mother.

I'll teach my children to speak their minds, to be kind and most importantly to be brave and love God.