4 me

This is for me because I recently discovered you're present in  everything I write and sometimes i'm not.

So, this time you're not.

Because, 

this ones for the miles i've come and the miles I'll go.

This ones for the insecurities that are 1/2 as heavy as they were last year.

 For the angel kisses on my nose that remind me i am loved by something bigger than high school.

This is for the 18 years my heart never took a break. 

 For every time I've fought back to full, and the times waxing crescent was all I could manage.

This is for the me i am and the me I've found more of these last two weeks than I ever have.

This is for my good ideas that didn't work out.

For the things I love about myself and those things i wish i could hide.

there still me no matter what i do,

 so this is for them.

This is for the facts i can't face and the dreams I wont erase.

For my soul that is always seven degrees warmer than i think.

This is for my five foot and ten inches height and the dirt under my nails.

For the me that imagines winning first place just once and the me who wishes on a star every night but never forgets to kneel to the hand which their light steams from.

This is for my veins that tend to be Southern California freeways.

For every candle i lit and each time i burnt myself in the process.

This is for the future i'm holding and past that i'm allowing to  shape me.

This is for my fingers and toes and the mountains they've reached together.

For me and my favorite purple shirt i lost last year.

This is for me because i've never written for me and maybe that just because i'm made up of other peoples influence and theories or maybe its a side effect from the mirrors never being clear enough to form a coherent thought over. 

but this is for me.

and even though, like always, you're still there.

its not for you this time.

It's for me.