Crystal.

Today I remembered the room of mirrors and that he wore his glasses. 

I remembered that nothing was ever that clear before.

I remembered that you we're never him and I was never her.

So I need you to know that today,

I let go of you.

It's taken me longer than it should have to realize I didn't do anything wrong,

and I was never the monster in your closet.

I was just me and you were just you.

My only weakness was trying to hold you close while keeping this secret an eternity closer. 

So I need you to know today,

I let go of you and us and all the potential I imagined.

Because,

Today I remembered I gave my heart to a boy almost two years ago as a gift and he still 

hasn't opened it just yet.

But it will never cease to be entirely his.

It took me one year to forget and another to remember that my hearts there and it's big.

I love you.

And I know you love me.

But you will always be you and I can't help but be me.

So I just need you to know that today,

I let go of you.

And nothing has ever been as clear as today. 

Last Year

Last year.

Started with a chanting kiss,

And ended with slipping on ice

Last year.

Nostalgia was so thick you couldn't pierce it if you tried

 Even though, Last year.

I thought I managed too.

This year.

it's still there.

Last year.

I compared myself to a wasp and believed I was.

But this year.

That wasp was swatted and squished.

Last year.

That would have broke me in two.

But this year is 2015,

And it's just water underneath our burning bridge. 

Last year.

Was only a month or so ago,

But 

This year

I feel so much newer,

And that might just be because I have freckles on my

Shoulders and hair to my collarbone.

This year.

Fits perfectly between the green stone I wear and my heart that pumps like potential in a new born baby.

This year.

This year.

It's my last year of High school. 

The nostalgia is thickening.

And that's just fine

Because I love looking back at last year.

And looking forward to this year.