Here I am.

If you really knew me.

you'd know each word I speak is impulsive.
I don't think enough.
You'd know that when you said "you trust me, right?"
The only thing that registered was. . .
Lock the gates.

If you really knew me.

You'd know that I'm not afraid of being wanted like I say,
I'm afraid of being vulnerable.

If you really knew me.

You'd know that every time I walk alone I'm happier.
Because every time I do,
It's Gods hand that I find.

If you really knew me.

You'd know I've kissed twice.
And the first time was on the top of the Eiffel Tower.

You'd know,
 I felt more holding his hand for 3.2 seconds than I did both times I kissed combined.

If you really knew me.

You'd know I cut 10 Inches of my hair
Because,
I wanted a fresh start, not a new hair style.

You'd know I cry At night because my mom kept that 10 inches and it scares me.
Because,
I feel like the past mistakes I made are waiting for me downstairs.

If you really knew me.

You'd know my name is Sara Elizabeth Brown and when I google search my name,
Head stones of people who died in 1849 come up.

If you really knew me,

perhaps I'd know myself that much better.